And the moment he saw her, he knew that she was his biological daughter. The. That's Sue. Since we first broadcast this story in 2008, the mom who knew about the baby switch at the time, Mary Kay Miller, has died. It's this American Life. Try keep it short so that it is easy for people to scan your page. Kay is no longer angry the way she was, but she says she'll never understand why Mrs. Miller stayed silent for all those years. The Millers were at the McDonald's anniversary party, their mutual acquaintances, they got a short drive from each other's houses and Waseca and Kurdish in Wisconsin. K was angry that Mrs. Miller hadn't corrected things back in 1951, that Mrs. Miller had hijacked her life in this way, and she was angry that Mrs. Miller put Sue in the difficult position of having to break news like this to her parents and angry that now the Millers were asking so much of Sue's time and attention, it got so bad she had to go on medication for high blood pressure. My dad had this horrendous guilt, because he felt like it was all his fault that he should have believed my mother for all those years. this american life switched at birth transcriptsour milk bread recipes no yeastsour milk bread recipes no yeast She said she wanted to call Marty first, but never managed to reach her as a result, Marty got worried about one of the most basic facts of her life, second hand, all the while waiting to hear directly from her mother. I kind of felt like the like Bob and Kate were kind of keeping me in an arm's distance because they weren't really sure how they felt or wanted to feel. Kay McDonald began getting notes and phone calls from Reverend Miller. There was nothing I didn't have anything to do with it. Anyway, here's the story. There's a large statue of an angel in her sitting room which she's planning to put on her own grave. I think little children take care of. The story of an FBI undercover operation from 2006 that went terribly, and became the heart of a case heard at the Supreme Court. And I said, heavens, no. The two little girls ended up in wrong families and only became aware of their biological parents 43 years later when Mrs. Miller decides to write a letter to them . His heart was elsewhere. Because it was terrible that hang over your head and. But I thought each of you should know your biological and spiritual backgrounds. this american life switched at birth transcript. And I was always asking anyone who might have seen her. And now suddenly it turned out Sue was one of them. That's a big consideration. Now that the big family questions are mostly worked out, one of the toughest things both Marti and Sue have to deal with is logistical. Mrs. Miller's most ambitious scheme happened after the girls graduated from high school, when they were about to be 18. Reverend Miller had made many visits to Dr. Deslack's wife when she was sick and now Dr. Deslack refused to charge the Millers for anything. And I don't know that she was as excited about it as I was. Sue dismissed it as part of the whole sister thing, but she also thought was kind of weird. And she's going to get this popular Marti, who's so fun-loving and looks like her. I was just not ever meeting their expectation of intellectualism. That wasn't something that they would have done, because athletics was really not of value to them at all. Maybe because some of the Miller girls had suspected that she was their sister for decades and because Mrs. Miller always knew the truth, Sue was being embraced completely by the Miller clan. And this whole crop of people knew but never said anything to Kay McDonald. And I he said, why wouldn't you have told me that? He is an evangelical preacher, you know, he wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. This is my mom and dad. It took Kay an awful long time. He didn't dance with me. Coming up, what it's like to be a mom and to learn at the age of 69 that your only daughter isn't actually your daughter at all. And he says, this is a nice little baby. I thought that was strange. All four women say things got very lonely for them. So he did know it too. And then he danced with my cousin. Bay grew up in a wealthy family while Daphne, who lost her hearing as a child, was raised by a single mom in a working class neighborhood. Rest, fluids, medication to lower the fever. As far as I'm concerned, you're not really Ruth's sister. He did not want her to push me out of the family. Things like that. This is Sue reading a letter she got some time ago from her new found Miller sister Faith, though there are many, many good things about our family and parents and being raised by that family. That could be my sister. And the other thing was that he really thought, what difference does it make a child is a child. And he just I think he honestly never thought it was a possibility. But they didn't notice any-- I don't know why they didn't notice it that Martha looked like them and was like them. And Marti refused to believe it at that point. It was a different way of living, one that she admires. "I want you to know that I will accept whatever contact you choose to have with me, even if it's none at all. It's a little late. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that we're telling me, hey, I'm your brother. And at the same time, you have a new mom or new daughter, it is not so clear what you're supposed to do with this new parent or new child who's now in your life. If you have a smartphone or tablet, the easiest way to listen to this, and all the other radio shows for the class, is to download the This American Life app. Probably the Ladies Aid, maybe, you know, the little group that got together. Neither Sue nor Marty blames Mrs. Miller for going along with her husband. They understand what their relationship was like. What are you supposed to be with each other? An original radio drama called "Kathleen on the Carpet," in which animals talk and hold their own "animal court." But later, the two churches merged. We're devoting the full hour today to what happened to these two families. I promise you, I'll never try to make you think of me as your daughter. And then there was the blondness and the perkiness and the socializing. And. Coming up, what it's like to be a mom and to learn at the age of 69 that your only daughter isn't actually your daughter at all, and, if that weren't bad enough, that lots of people in your town, people around you, knew years before you did. Paul Zimmer is eighty-three years old now, and hes still haunted by something he saw in his teens. And two, it was her brother she might lose. If I had as strong a feeling as she did that I had the wrong baby, I would have pursued it. Did you have? In fact, she seemed to have a tin ear for the whole thing. I said, I think we-- it's not right to do that, to keep somebody else's baby. Here she is. Reverend Miller is affectionate with her, putting his arm around her waist. Our website, thisamericanlife.org. I've forgiven them, but that doesn't mean that I have forgotten. As Martha grew, she did not look nor act like any other children. anno 1800 best seed for campaign. The Millers wanted to incorporate her family into our family as quickly as they could and. Jun When I weighed the baby, she weighed two and 1/2 pounds less than her birth weight. So he didn't know what to do. raul peralez san jose democrat or republican. What does she think of me? You know, it's like I'm a teenager again and nobody danced with me. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. Kay was a Methodist and the Millers were Evangelicals. It's sad that it happened. Why did she listen to her husband back in 1951? Mark Twain. A different kind of #MeToo story, about several women who worked for the same man. But she didn't call them right away. When I first talked to Mrs. Miller about what had happened when Mary was born, she told me pretty much the same story she told in her letter, how she knew as soon as she got home and weighed the baby that the nurses had made a mistake. Mrs. Miller would do or say things concerning the girls, things that just seem strange to Kay. Do let me hear from you. invite research legit; orange county police department california; hydra stop brake booster I didn't want to have a disagreement like that with him, because that would have ruined our marriage. Why the big concern about disgracing the doctor over, you know, having the wrong baby? And after dinner, he got to talking. This is a house with a lot of rules. The other problem for Marty was how to approach the McDonald's for biological parents. It's hard enough to learn that your mother isn't your mother, but it's even harder when that news is delivered by someone like Mrs. Miller. But he had everybody convinced, I think, that it was God's will, but I had talked to several of our former pastors who knew about the situation, and they assured me that this was not God's will. I would say that Sue and I were probably not that close for whatever reason. But I kept looking for her. She looked exactly like him. And so, of course, he was trying to get me to say that I had forgiven them and. You know, I I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. It was an odd strategy, if you can even call it that. Did you feel that then after this happened a little bit closer to your dad than your mom? No, no, no. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. And he said, why wouldn't you have told me that? I was sure then that there had been a mix up. She was a married mother of three living in Michigan, where her husband worked as a chemist. Here's Marti. It was pretty concealed right within our own church. Tells the story of two teen girls who discover that they were accidentally switched at birth. Mary says she felt like everything she was interested in was lost on her parents. But then Mrs. Miller told me more of her side of the story. It was a different life. By the time she was well, fixing the baby switch problem was that much harder. He's the creator of the new comic "Welcome to the New World-- The True Story of a Refugee Family from Syria," which runs weekly in the "New York Times.". The counselor asked her what the McDonalds knew about all this. And the moment he saw her, he knew that she was his biological daughter. Thanks. And the feeling in their house was very different from the feeling in the Miller's house. It's before kindergarten, so it's OK. And before we start, just to help you keep everybody straight in this story, a quick overview of the two families. With Katie Leclerc, Vanessa Marano, Constance Marie, D.W. Moffett. The way she pronounced her words were identical with the way my mother talked. Our other children had dark hair and all needed glasses for nearsightedness. I tried out for cheerleading. There's a lot of nervous laughter. And, uh. This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. 43:45. No, I guess I haven't, because I knew. But I had talked to several of our former pastors who knew about the situation and they assured me that this was not God's will. Hardy says her mom, Mrs. Miller, sees the world in black and white, she focused on the facts of the situation, maybe hoping she could fix things by simply setting the record straight. Wow, that could be her. When Sue arrived, she slipped in quietly. She circled his name and she wrote, This is your uncle. We had a baby scale at home. Miss Miller's husband, the Reverend Norbert Miller, was an evangelical preacher devoted to the church, and they were a bookish, serious bunch. Yes, I told Norbert, I think we have the wrong baby. So she's excited about it. Well, of course, we felt indebted to him for doing that. Martha excelled in music, was a great cheerleader at school, very popular and a blonde, our other children had dark hair. So I dropped the mixed-up baby pursuit. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were to Marty considered whether she should go. That's what I'm talking about. In fact, it was the exact opposite. And this whole crop of people knew, but never said anything to Kay McDonald. My name is Bob McDonald. I'm IRA Glass back next week with more stories. In fact, my mother said, well, just don't tell anybody. I couldn't believe that because I don't I don't have that feeling about I don't think God. At one point toward the end of the party, as Sue stood nearby, Marti started talking about the room that she had grown up in in the Miller household. Jake Halpern is the reporter. Both children eventually got married and had their own children and grandchildren. You know, we opened up more to each other and, you know, we had the same personality and we think so much alike. For one thing, she explained just how sick she was after they'd gone home with Marty in 1951. Besides her, there was Mary, Lydia, Faith, Ruth, Sonny, Luke and Esther. And then they go right to do that. That is why I wanted to write this letter. And I wanted to be a cheerleader, you know, I didn't get picked. And I said, Who told you to say that? But then Mrs. Miller told me more her side of this story. Marti was also married, also had three kids. Switched At Birth didn't escape the norm, and the two main actresses were far from being teens when the show premiered. We had a baby scale at home. Blood tests were done with the Millers and they proved Mrs. Miller was right about the switch. He danced with her. Even so, he asked her for forgiveness again and again. I mean, that my kids are all so serious about their life. This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivett Norbert had made the card was signed from your other possible parents. october 22, 1995 bay kennish was born this book will be all about her life Switched At Birth (Exactly like the TV Series) 25422 Switched at Birth: Two teenage girls discover they were accidentally switched as newborns in the hospital. That was enough. And the Millers show her pictures of her other relatives. I was just not ever meeting their expectation of intellectual ism, and my mother has told me since then, you know, you I really didn't expect that much from you because I knew that you weren't our child. Norbert and I had a good time while we were together. Once things calmed down, Sue came to two conclusions. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and daughter. You know, when she finally heard from Mrs. Miller, the mother she'd grown up with, not only did she get the letter, but Mrs. Miller had just been to the fiftieth anniversary party of the McDonald's, Marty's biological parents. The other woman reads, I had complete anaesthesia, so was asleep when our baby was born. And my own bed, too, everything. Switched at Birth. And he did, and he did. At last, Mrs. Miller felt free to act. She says, I was pregnant and you are my child. She she. From Marty's perspective, the genetic counselor's prediction from years before seemed to be coming true, it felt like she was losing both her mother's. And keep his friendship, you know, if I turn against him, like, gotten on that. It was the first time I'd seen them talk to each other. She was close to her mother. And I'm really like that too. She said everybody kind of at church, after having seen Marty beside the rest of the family, just couldn't believe that that was their child. He thought she really dreamed this up in her head and just got obsessed with it. And I said, well, I don't know. She heard it first from her own mom, who heard it at church. Two teenage girls' lives are turned upside down when they find out they were switched at birth. And I was kind of stunned. We love you, Martha Jane, as dearly as our other six children. She was 98 years old. I really only thought about that one time, I only let myself think about it one time, it was actually right after I met them and I was going back to my my mother's house. From WBEZ Chicago, it's "This American Life." The two fathers in this story were not interviewed. No, we didn't argue about that. But Sue was the girl they'd brought up and they felt loyal to her, protective. They understand why she didn't speak out sooner. A small thing, but it was a big thing to me. Before the letter arrived, the facts of Sue's life had seemed pretty orderly. Do let me hear from you. All Votes Add Books To This List. It's available wherever you get your podcasts and. more. Because he told me, you know, well, I don't care what anybody says from as far as I'm concerned, you're not really Ruth's sister. Never had that happen with any of our others. He's an herbalist? It was all pretty straightforward. After they were born, she had written as a Christmas letter and and said she'd always like to keep in touch with Susan because the girls were so much like sisters. It was Matt Tierney, Nancy Updike and Diane Wu. That's what I was thinking. Again, Martha Miller, who now goes by Marty, who once was the baby who sneezed five times in a row. And it was then that I started thinking, oh, my gosh, you know, my life would have been so different. So I left Prairie du Chien and I was driving. Our services run deep and are backed by over ten years of experience. Would make a good twin to her. Back next week with more stories of "This American Life.". During this time, it was Marty's dad, Reverend Miller, who reassured her they started talking on the phone a lot. And he said, what would you do if I told you that they were your parents? They get together at Bob and McDonald's house didn't go exactly as she wanted. And when Bob found out about Marti, found out that she was his biological sister, he called her right away in California. She would push the dresser and the cedar chest against the door. It's kind of you know, she tells me that this is, you know, you're, ah, you're my daughter. And he said, this is a nice little baby. She didn't fit in. Like Sue, though, Marty stuck out in her family for one thing, she was the only one who joked around, she says even now, the Millers can't tell when she's being ironic. His heart was elsewhere. But the good part about that was when I got home from the wedding and my brother called me and he said, you know what? And at any point during this time, does it cross your mind? She circled the names of people that were participating in the program like my one of my uncles on the birth side, Earl Gonzales. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonalds. It was a little surreal to hear her talk about it in this way, laughing like that, especially after hearing Kay McDonald's side of things. People were definitely aware whenever both women were in the same room. And I'm thinking, how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? And Susan always had said to me, Mom, why didn't you have any more children after I was born? Ruth sat down in a pew near the front next to faith right before the service began. Switched at Birth is the first mainstream television series to have multiple Deaf and hard-of-hearing series regulars and scenes shot entirely in ASL (American Sign Language) as reported by ABC . I don't think that they ever came to watch me cheer in a game. Every day she was at the hospital, the nurses brought her the same baby girl. Bay meets Emmett outside a college party she got dragged into when he alerts her not to be in that neighborhood late at night. Never had that happened with any of our others. And I really didn't know anything about the McDonald's. She could have been my aunt or my mother talking on the phone.